In the Catholic tradition, during Lent, we aim at returning to God, by doing some forms of prayer, penance, mortification, and almsgiving. Many people offer sacrifices, such as giving up their favourite food, television series, and hobbies. Some people give up celebrations of some kind. All these practices are to discipline oneself and to draw closer to Jesus. However, all our prayers, fasting, penances, and sacrifices amount to nothing if we fail to have true contrition.

Of all the sacrifices and penances that we can offer to God, He is not pleased with it, if we fail to be truly sorrowful for our sins. The kind of sacrifices He desires is humility and true contrition.

“The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise”

(Psalms 51:17, NRSV)

Imagine, how pitiable it would be to find out, after all the fasting, mortifications, and sacrifices done throughout Lent, to know that it was all useless. How much more pitiable it would be for someone to discover on judgement day that the life they lived was not good enough, when they thought all their life that they were a good Christian. Sadly, this is the saga for most people, but I pray that you may know true contrition, and this may lead you to true conversion.

What is contrition?
Contrition is feeling deeply sorry for all our sin. Contrition is necessary for repentance. If we do not feel truly sorry, we will fail to truly repent, and repentance is necessary for conversion; to turn away from wickedness and all forms of evil and make a journey towards God. We, therefore, must first feel intense sorrow for our sins.

What are the consequences of not being truly contrite and truly repentant?
If someone is not truly contrite and repentant, they will not receive forgiveness of their sins, which means that if they die in a state of unrepentant mortal sin, they will go to hell for all eternity.

What is perfect and imperfect contrition?
According to the Baltimore Catechism, “Our contrition is perfect when we are sorry for our sins because sin offends God, whom we love above all things for His own sake. Our contrition is imperfect when we are sorry for our sins because they are hateful in themselves or because we fear God’s punishment. To receive the sacrament of Penance worthily, imperfect contrition is sufficient”.

What are the hindrances for true contrition?
Following are some of the hindrances of true contrition:

  • To receive forgiveness for our sins we must first be truly contrite, which is to feel true sorrow for our sins.
  • We must confess all our mortal sins in the sacrament of reconciliation. If we withhold any mortal sin intentionally in confession, our confession becomes invalid. Therefore, we must sincerely confess all our sins.

“No one who conceals transgressions will prosper,
    but one who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy” (Pro 28:13).

  • We fail to have true contrition if we perceive that our wrongdoing is someone else’s fault. This happens when we fail to take ownership of our own wrongdoings and manage to condemn someone else for it. A person, in a state of sin, does not take ownership of any wrongdoings. In the garden of Eden, when Adam and Eve committed their first sin, they immediately reacted by blaming someone else. Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent. When we sin, we too go into this default state of blaming others. Try and recall, how many times you have spoken on length on the faults of others and overlooked your own sin. In your mind, it was never your fault, it was all theirs, and because, by default, every human always thinks it is someone else’s fault instead of their own, we fail to be truly contrite. This manner of thinking keeps us blinded, to our own wrongdoings, and instead of feeling sorrowful for our sins, we are sorrowful for what others have done. Most people fail to see their own wrongdoings clearly thereby, lacking true contrition, which results in failure to be truly repentant and therefore, fail to receive God’s mercy. It’s like living in an illusion, where you think you are good, but in God’s eyes, you are not. For instance, say two people were having an argument, and one of them said something very sternly to the other, which offended the other. The offended person then got very bitter and refused to forgive the other and went about gossiping about how harsh the other person was. Then, when the offended person goes for confession, he only talks about how much the other person has offended him with his harsh remarks. However, he had forgotten to confess his own sin, which is bitterness, unforgiveness, pride, and gossip. Now, the person who spoke harshly was stern because of the nature of the argument. Even though he was stern, he only committed a venial sin. However, the other person, because of his pride, unforgiveness, and bitterness has committed a mortal sin. Now, you see my sisters and brothers, how easy it is for us to think that the person who was harsh is completely at fault when in God’s eyes the other person has a greater fault. This pattern of thinking can also lead to justification of our own wrongdoings, where we justify that we are doing such and such a thing because the other person did such and such a thing, thereby, justifying our own fault. In this manner, if we feel justified with our wrongdoing, then we overlook our fault, and we thereby, fail to be truly contrite. We need the grace of God to be truly contrite and this grace is available to us through our sacrament of baptism and the sacrament of reconciliation. We must always pray that God, may give us the humility and the grace to forgive others, and help us to examine our conscience which may lead us to true contrition.


3 “Why do you see the speck in your neighbour’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your neighbour, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ while the log is in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbour’s eye” (Mat 7:3-5).

“My friends, if anyone is detected in a transgression, you who have received the Spirit should restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness. Take care that you yourselves are not tempted” (Galatians 6:1).

  • Pride, narcissism, and selfishness can also be a hindrance to true contrition. Humility is required to acquire true contrition; we need God’s grace to repent. Pride resists God’s grace. A person in this state fails to acquire true contrition.

“God opposes the proud,
    but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6)

When we are proud, we are self-centred, which leads to narcissism. We don’t care for others but have our own selfish agenda. Self-denial is a sure cure for pride, narcissism, and selfishness. If we fail to deny ourselves, we become narcist, selfish, and proud.

Then he said to them all, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23).

  • Self-righteousness and hypocrisy is another hindrance to true contrition. A hypocrite is someone who acts in a very pious manner, but his heart is not right with God. When one puts on a façade, they start believing in that façade, which obstructs them from seeing their wrongdoings and thereby, they fail to obtain true contrition. To overcome hypocrisy, try to be honest and truthful, and act with integrity always. Let your constant focus be on pleasing God, and not people. Overcome the desire to please everyone. Do what is right in the eyes of God. Thereby, you will have no need to act like someone you are not.

When we are self-righteous, we take glory in our achievements; the hours we have spent in prayer; the ministries we are involved in, our piousness; we strive to be noticed and brag about all we have done; we want our names on the plaque boards and bulletins; we want everyone to think good about us; we want to leave a legacy; etc.  These leads us to believe that we are better than others because of the good we are doing, and we are entitled for salvation. However, salvation is not based on our righteous acts or behaviour but is based on God’s righteousness. Since we take great pride in our doings, it blinds us from our wrongdoings, thereby, hindering true contrition. To overcome self-righteousness and hypocrisy, examine what is the source of your pride and joy, if it is anything other than God. If your pride is in your accomplishments, your recognitions, it becomes your source of self-righteousness, and it will lead you away from receiving God’s righteousness and true contrition.

9 He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and regarded others with contempt: 10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying thus, ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.’ 13 But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ 14 I tell you, this man went down to his home justified rather than the other; for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted.” (Luke 18:9-14)

  • Bitterness and unforgiveness are a major hindrance in obtaining true contrition. Offences are bound to happen. Sometimes, people get offended even when no one is offending them. If we harbour bitterness and unforgiveness, no matter how contrite we are of our sins, and no matter how much we repent, we fail to obtain forgiveness for our sins, because to receive mercy, we must first give mercy.

“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Mat 6:14-15).

We must love our enemies and do good and not evil. If we cannot love our enemies, we have no eternal life within us. The indication of love and forgiveness for others is that we are not tormented by the offences of others. We do not gossip nor seek revenge, when we get an opportunity, we repay evil with good. We pray for them; we bless them, and we strive to live in peace with everyone.

If you are tormented by offences and are unable to forgive and forget the wrongdoings of others, if those offences keeps playing like a broken record in your mind, realise that those offences have become a stronghold in your life, and you need to pray for deliverance from those strongholds. Therefore, it is important to forgive immediately. If you take too long to forgive, you are already in bondage. Sometimes, people get obsessed with the offences of others, they become bitter, unable to forgive and thereby, lose eternal life.

To overcome bitterness, make a firm resolution to forgive and forget the offences intentionally. If those thoughts resurface, continue with your commitment to forgive, pray for them, bless them, do good to them, and follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and He will direct your path and lead you into deliverance and complete freedom from every stronghold in your life.

Genuine love for God and others help us to become truly contrite. Once you have overcome all the hindrances to true contrition, pray and ask God to reveal to you all your wrongdoings, so that you may feel sorrow for your sins, and sincerely repent with all your heart. This will be a difficult process for most people, to identify and acknowledge the negativity within; the pride, the narcissism, the bitterness, the hypocrisy, the self-righteousness. However, it is imperative that we go through this process, otherwise, we are risking our salvation and eternal life. At times, it may seem impossible, but as always, with God’s grace, all things are possible.

True contrition is complete, when we confess our sins, receive God’s mercy, we do our penance, and we make a firm resolution to amend our ways and, by God’s grace, do not sin again.

O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of Heaven and the pains of hell, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, Who are all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve with the help of Thy grace to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen.

Act of Contrition Prayer

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