Are You a People Pleaser or a God Pleaser?
Asher wants his backslidden friend back to Church, so he invites his friend to join him for the Sunday service. His friend reluctantly replies, “I do go for mass every Sunday.” Asher then says, “Well, I never see you in Church.” His friend replies, “That’s because I attend the secret service”. These days, many Christians are secretive Christians, which means nobody really knows that they are Christians. They practise their faith in secret. They fear that others might disapprove of them if they openly profess their faith. Does everyone who knows you view you as a Christian? Are you ashamed of who you really are?
When we acknowledge Jesus Christ before others, on the judgment day when we stand in front of God, Jesus too will acknowledge us before His Heavenly Father. If we reject Jesus Christ in front of others and deny that we are Christians, then Jesus Christ too will reject us before His Heavenly Father. When a person is rejected by Jesus Christ, they have no share in eternal life and are condemned to hell. “Everyone therefore who acknowledges me before others, I also will acknowledge before my Father in heaven; but whoever denies me before others, I also will deny before my Father in heaven” (Mt 10:32-33, NewRSV).
The humanity of Jesus was revealed when he was tempted by the devil in the wilderness. He did not succumb to those temptations, but submitted Himself to the will of His Heavenly Father. “The devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendour; and he said to him, “All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.” Jesus said to him, “Away with you, Satan! for it is written, ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve only him.’” Then the devil left him, and suddenly angels came and waited on him. (Mt 4: 8-11, NewRSV). Satan lures us with the same temptations today. These temptations are presented in very subtle forms such as people pleasing, approval addiction or co-dependency. How you deal with these temptations will not only determine your level of faith but will also determine who you truly fear and worship. Who is it that you sincerely bow down and worship? Is it mortal men or Almighty God? Many do not confess to others that Jesus Christ is their Lord and Saviour, because they are afraid of people and the consequence they might have to suffer for professing their faith. ‘They loved human glory more than the glory that comes from God’ (Jh 12:43, NewRSV).
A people pleaser can never find lasting joy, because they will constantly be succumbed to the will of others. Living a life that others want them to live. People pleasing will become an obstacle in their life, drawing them away from the freedom to live a life pleasing to God. Some of you may question, that isn’t it God’s will that we are pleasing to others? Well, pleasing others is not a sin by itself. In fact, the word of God advises us to be pleasing to others. Children obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord (Col 3:20 ESV). Slaves obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord (Col 3:22). Just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved (1 Cor 10:33, NewRSV). It is surely God’s will that we are pleasing to everyone, but it becomes a hindrance in our walk with God when our attempt to please people leads us to go against the will of God. When we regard people higher than God. When we reject or deny Jesus Christ just so that we are pleasing to others. It is then that people pleasing becomes a bait of Satan to take you away from your eternal destiny.
If you are addicted to pleasing people, you will become a person that can be easily manipulated. You will live in constant fear of people and you will fail to walk in integrity and truth. It is indeed a miserable way to live, as you will have no peace, no joy, no freedom. The word of God states that such a person is cursed. Thus says the Lord: “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord (Jer 17:5). Sometimes fearing others can lead to people pleasing. Such kinds of fear-oriented approach leads to oppression. Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the LORD means safety (Pro 29:25).
If you are a God pleasing person, you will receive abundant blessings, live in the safety and protection of God and be filled with His joy and peace. God answers the prayers of a person who is pleasing to Him. We receive from him whatever we ask, because we obey his commandments and do what pleases him (1 Jh 3: 22). We can live a peaceful life with everyone. When the ways of people please the Lord, he causes even their enemies to be at peace with them (Pro 16:7).
Many Christians are living oppressed lives, because they are constantly trying to please people instead of striving to please God. If you are convinced that you are a people pleaser, it’s never too late to repent and ask for God’s mercy and forgiveness, and God will graciously forgive you of all your sins and set you free from the traps of Satan. You can walk in freedom by turning away from people pleasing and begin to walk in the grace found in pleasing God. These are a few ways you can start your new journey of seeking to please our Almighty Father. Start by building your faith in God because, without faith it is impossible to please God, for whoever would approach him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him (Heb 11:6 NewRSV). Generosity is a true mark of a Christian, therefore, do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God (Heb 13: 16, NewRSV). It is easy to say that we care, but our actions speak louder than words.
When you are at a crossroad and must choose between pleasing God or pleasing people, choose God. “We must obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29 NewrSV). “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ” (Col 3:23, ESV). Develop reverential fear of God, because the Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love (Ps 147:11). Develop humility for it is pleasing to God. For the Lord takes pleasure in his people; he adorns the humble with salvation (Ps 149:4). Enjoy your new-found freedom in Christ Jesus. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed (Jh 8:36)