A young man asked his mother for some advice on where he should take his girlfriend on his first date. The mother advised him that he should invite her home, for a nice home-cooked meal. The next day, the mother found her son very frustrated and angry. So, she inquired if his girlfriend showed up for the date. The son replied, “She did come, but she refused to cook.” 

Our natural human tendency is to be self-centred, but God’s word tell us to be selfless and humbly acknowledge others to be better than ourselves. “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others” (Phil 2:3-4 NRSV).

We are called Christians solely because we are followers of Jesus Christ, who emptied himself to save us. We are called to follow His example and self-empty ourselves. How can the world recognise us as disciples of Jesus Christ? It is only through our love for each other. “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (Jn 13: 34-35). When we fail to love one another, we fail to be the disciples of Jesus, we fail to be the followers of Jesus, we fail to be Christians and we fail to be Christ-like.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of esteeming others higher than ourselves? Let’s begin with the family. When children are trained to honour their father and mother, we have a functional family instead of a dysfunctional family. When married couples love each other selflessly, their marriage will undoubtedly blossom and bloom. When schools train children to esteem others higher than themselves, we will have less bullying, pushing, punching and kicking others around. When humanity esteems others higher than themselves, we will have no perpetrators, thefts, vandalising, murders, racism and gender discrimination.

We can regard others higher than ourselves, when we begin to see others the way God sees them. We can see women not as inferior beings but as equal. We can see children not as miniature beings but nurture them and build them up. We can see the different colours of our skin, our accents, our nationalities and celebrate the beauty of all God’s creation.

When we regard others higher, we respect the freedom of others, we can forgive others, pray for others, tolerate the differences, submit to others, confess to one another, greet others, welcome others and honour others.  Love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honour (Rom 12:10).

Esteeming others higher begins with humility. You cannot be a narcissist and a true Christian at the same time. Pride exalts itself, whereas humility exalts God and others. Humility acknowledges God as our Saviour and Creator and acknowledges that the whole of creation is God’s handiwork. A humble person is obedient to God and respectful to others. Humility is not just a lowly outward façade, but it is rather an inward character of total submission to the will of God.

So, we have known and believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them. Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness on the day of judgment, because as he is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love.  We love because he first loved us.  Those who say, “I love God,” and hate their brothers or sisters, are liars; for those who do not love a brother or sister whom they have seen, cannot love God whom they have not seen. The commandment we have from him is this: those who love God must love their brothers and sisters also. (1 Jn 4: 16-21)

True happiness comes not by exalting oneself, but in reaching out to those that are in need. True happiness is found in building others up. Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to care for orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world (Jm 1:27).

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