The Secret to a Perfect Marriage
The secret to any wisdom that one gains in life, is in the application of it. You may have plenty of knowledge and great understanding, but if you don’t apply it, then it is as if you know nothing at all. The Word of God is full of wisdom, but a person is wise only when he obeys it. A great marriage is great not because of some coincidence, but because of two people making some wise decisions.
Ideally to have a perfect marriage there has to be a union of a perfect man and a perfect woman. We know that, there is no such perfect person, let alone the possibility to two perfect people marrying each other. You may be curious to know then, that how can two imperfect people have a perfect marriage.
So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate (Matthew 19:6). A marriage is a union between a man and a woman that is sealed by God and is irrevocable. The secret lies in having God as the centre of the relationship and the two becoming one, honouring God and loving each other. A woman can easily submit to her husband when she has first submitted herself to the will of God. A man can easily love his wife, to the extent that he is even willing to die for her, when he is a follower of Jesus Christ and loves his wife just as Jesus loves His church.
The perfection in the marriage comes from God’s perfect will for our marriage, because God alone is perfect. Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect (Matthew 5:48). Someone once said, “Aiming at perfection reflects who we will be, but demanding it with a perfectionism that can’t accept failures misses the point of who we still are”. Marriages are not perfect by themselves, but we imitate God’s love for His people and strive to be like our heavenly Father.
When your marriage is nothing but loads of suffering, know that God sometimes takes people through troubled waters not to drown them but to cleanse them. People get saved when they are in troubled waters, when their only hope is God. How many people would really get saved when they are not in need of God? Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing (James 1:2-4).
You may think why you would have to go through any suffering in your marriage, if you are already saved. We sometimes don’t suffer for ourselves, but for others. Jesus did not go through all the sufferings for himself, but for us. We are partakers in Christ’s suffering. Our suffering benefits others as well as ourselves, and it helps us yield fruits. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful (John 15:2). Any form of suffering is not pleasant and we wish these cups of sufferings would pass away. Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane in his agony asked His Father if he was willing to take the cup of suffering away from Him, yet He wanted His Father’s will to be done.
Divorce is never God’s will. In your marriage you may have to carry your cross, suffer and persevere. Your suffering will not be in vain, if you don’t give up. It is God who has united you in marriage and God never makes a mistake. Every married person has a special someone God has assigned to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, in youth and in old-age, to respect and protect, to comfort and encourage, to be kind and gentle, to trust and be selfless, to be honest and faithful, to love unconditionally and to cherish for eternity. Would you give up, on this special someone God has entrusted to you? Will you walk away from God’s will? Or would you get on your knees, raise your hands to heaven, come in His presence, fasting and praying, crying out to God, who will wipe out your every tear and deliver you from all your problems? Brothers and sisters, dedicate your marriage to the Lord, because He takes care of what belongs to Him.
Would you be able to love your spouse more than any other person? Your marriage should be the very best thing that has happened to your after your salvation. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love (1 John 4:8). We know love, because God loved us first and continues to love us. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).
Love is a sacrifice. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13). God displayed his great love for us by dying on the cross, in order to save us from our sins and eternal death. Love is self-giving and not self-seeking. If you persevere and don’t quit, you will see the glory of God and your marriage perfected. And above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfectness (Colossians 3:14).
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